I am not a fan of expensive jewelries or anything that glitters. Maybe because….I don’t like attention. I ‘d rather blend in with the crowd, not stood out or be loud or demand attention. I like everything plain and simple. Such is my life…
Who wants all the glitters if it’s not real gold? We live in a world where we want to be seen and heard. The more famous we are or the grandest and loudest impressions we make, the better. Unfortunately, I am not good at this making an impression thing. I am not into big dreams. I am not competitive. I am not good at this proving myself and reaching for the stars and the moon thing. I am not aiming to make a name for myself. To be honest, I am not sure if this mind set is something I should be proud of, much less write about for everyone to read.
But then, I’ve got nothing to lose. And nothing to prove either. This cleaning blogger does not aim to please but just to be real. Most times, I feel like – being truthful and raw and real and honest about our thoughts and feelings and life in general is not a big thing. Being deep with your thoughts is considered weird. Sometimes, I feel like….I am not being seen or heard or understood. You know like….an outsider? Like I belong in another world or perhaps should be living in another time….weird huh?
Sometimes I do wonder who would I be or where would I be now if I have a different mindset and feeling about this proving myself thing. You know, what would life be like if I was a little bit more competitive, or gutsy….if I was more the type of -I aim for the universe- kind of person instead of being satisfied with the dirt…
And for the life of me, I could not see myself being someone else. I could not picture myself being somewhere else. I wonder, is this how God sees me? Have I reached my full potential? Does God consider me a coward and a failure for not wanting to be somebody bigger and better? Is this really who God wants me to be? Maybe, I am just full of excuses….?
Such is my life. And I am contented. I am grateful. I am at peace. I may lack the glitters, but what I have are more than golds…….
What’s even better, God loves me just the same.