“You call me sensitive, but this is how I show my feelings. Since when is showing feelings not acceptable?
The past few days have been challenging for me as far as writing is concerned. Not because I don’t want to write but rather because, I am blocking some part of me. You see, writing is a form of expression for me. This is where I share my thoughts, express my feelings, let go of my emotions, share my dreams and in part…seek understanding.
“I am an over thinker. I analyze. I worry. I am weak. I am wrong. I am flawed…..”
The past few days also made me question myself. You see, I am an over thinker. I am too emotional. I worry a lot too. I worry about things and situations and people that I care about. I get hurt easily. These traits, I considered them my weaknesses. I thought it was wrong to always feel this way. I thought I was weak. I thought I was wrong. And that I was always to blame.
“You are too sensitive. You worry too much. You need to quit analyzing things. You need to toughen up. Why are you doing this to yourself?”
These are the words that I hear many times. Words that made me question myself. Words that made me think I am weak. Words that made me think it is wrong to be this way….that I am to blame. That whatever hurt or worry I am feeling, I brought it upon myself. Those are the same words that made me block everything that I am feeling, every thought and every desire to do something. I told myself not to do it. That I can’t be too sensitive. That I should not overthink…I need to quit analyzing. I need to be tough. And mostly, I don’t need to do it to myself. So…..I stop caring.
Being tough means not to show. To hide. To numb. Tune it out. To quit being authentic. To get lost.
“I do my best to show people who I really am, only to realize that to show such strength…could be taken as a weakness.”
But you know….I am not as flawed as you and the world think I am.
You think I am different? Actually….this is what I call unique and being real.