Ah the constant struggle with the busyness of life. It’s this daily thing to stay with a routine, like a clockwork. Get up, check phone, post something and check social media, coffee, messages, emails, get ready for the day, drive to work and meet the day’s work and school deadlines.

Throughout the day up to the time we go to bed, it’s the same routine. And the cycle goes on.

I’m pretty sure, this cycle is what keeps us feel productive, seen, heard, felt, accomplished, entertained perhaps and connected to a “great degree” (or so we thought).

I know. I had that same cycle.

It’s a routine, a cycle that – I’ve realized is empty. Temporary. It’s there, but only as long as you make your presence felt, only as long as you keep doing the same routine over and over again, then you stay in the cycle. It could get tiring with a temporary satisfaction, connection and fulfillment. Once you stand in the sidelines and watch in silence, you’re forgotten.

So I started to break the routine. Mainly to test the waters. Will I be missed? Will someone noticed? Will I miss it? I wanted to find out what’s missing. And what I needed.

And you know what I found out?

The one very important thing that I’m missing and what I needed?

Him.

I’ve realized that I’ve kept Him out of my routine.

No early morning prayers.

No devotions.

No reflections.

Out of all the free applications that would make me feel connected, heard and seen, I’ve set aside this book called “The Holy Bible.”

Out of all the social statuses that I could post, I’ve denied myself and others verses and verses of God’s undying love, grace and promises.

Because why?

Not everyone wants to see and read that!

Because that doesn’t even prove how talented or knowledgeable I am about a lot of things.

Because, this will take away the spotlight of how amazing I am.

Because then, people will not be aware of how exciting and fulfilled my life is.

Because I know people will scroll past through it and not say a word. This doesn’t make me feel seen much less heard at all.

And then people judge. They will not judge you for throwing stones or you bragging about a lot of things but they will be quick to judge you for saying holy and truthful things.

The good thing?

He never left. He was always waiting, patiently.

He let me wander – many, many times mind you. Not His fault. I insisted. But He never left me. He let me figure things out (at a very safe distance) and learn without really leaving me.

And every time I wanted Him back, he always, always welcomed me with loving arms.

I could feel His peaceful presence. This contentment, this fullness and joy.

So, what changed?

Nothing, except that I now start my day reading a verse, followed by a devotion, a reflection and then I write down my own reflection and prayers.

And my day goes on quietly with a feeling of completeness, void of my needs to prove myself to anyone else.

Seen. Heard. Loved. Enough.

I don’t think I need anything else.

Until next time,