It’s 1:30 a.m. I can’t count how many times or how long has it been since I would wake up around midnight or a little later and toss and turn trying my best to fall back to sleep.

Every time when this happens, I would – most of the times – just lay still and say the Lord’s Prayer (on repeat) if I am lost for words or use this time to talk to God. It’s a practice that hasn’t failed me yet.

But this morning, as I was praying the Lord’s Prayer, this hit me like I never said it many, many, many times over, “forgive us our trespasses (sins) as we forgive those who trespass(sins) against us.”

And it made me ask myself…

If God can forgive us for our wrongdoings, how can we not forgive those who wronged us? If we expect God to forgive our wrongdoings and believe that He will, can we say the same thing of us (as WE forgive others)?

Such a huge expectation we put on Our God while we give ourselves all the reasons we can think of to hold on to anger and grudges and wrongdoings committed against us but have we asked forgiveness for the wrongdoings we committed to others.? Why do we look at the speck of sawdust in our brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in our own eye?

Have I been mindlessly praying? Maybe I am or perhaps, this time it just hit different?

But as I am writing this (which is now 2:10am), I am humbled and grateful for the reminder that God put in my heart that forgiveness is a two way thing.

I, the Lord your God forgive you, you must forgive them too.

And you must not forget to forgive yourself.

Until next time,

What we give, we receive. What we look for, we see. What we sow, we reap. Calmness merits calmness. Anger attracts anger. Kindness follows kindness. God has empowered us with all the good things that we need and yet, what are we doing with them?