“People believe I Am what they see Me as, rather than what they do no not see. But I Am the Great unseen, not what I cause myself to be in any particular moment. In a sense, I am what I am not. It is from the Am-notness that I come, and to it I always return.” Neale Donald Walsch

The past several days or was it weeks, was kind of up and down. Too many uncertainties, doubts and feelings unexpressed. I have always been a very quiet person. I am also afraid to express my feeling and thoughts openly and verbally, for the simple reason of being misinterpreted and judged. That is probably why, I’d rather express my thoughts and feelings in writings. People who have no qualms about putting the blame on others terrifies me. Not because I don’t know how to admit my mistakes. It is easier to admit to making a mistake than in getting hurt by some insensitive remarks, especially by those you love. Why do people expect us to be tough about things and yet we are not to expect them sensitivity on how they treat and talk to us?

Can you imagine what it would be like if we practice sensitivity- how about love, in everything we do and say? Maybe, there won’t be too many people who doubt their capabilities. Maybe, there would be more people who would be open about expressing their feelings. Perhaps, more will learn how to love themselves, no trying to meet someone else’s expectations. Maybe, there won’t be fear of being ridiculed or laughed at for trying to do unfamiliar things or them making a mistake.

You know what hurt me the most? Being doubted.  Being told about the things that I can and can’t do. Being told how I am making it all wrong or I can’t do it – without me even trying it first, without me learning and proving it myself. Like I already failed without even taking the first step.

I don’t understand people that suck the happiness, joys and dreams of others. I don’t understand people who live out of the strength of others. I don’t understand people who think that the world revolves around them. I don’t understand people who can say and do hurtful things and blame you for getting hurt. I don’t understand insensitivity.

Even though I’m tired….

“I will greet this day with love in my heart. For this is the greatest secret of success in all ventures. Muscles can split a shield and even destroy life itself but only the unseen power of love can open the hearts of men. And until I master this act I will remain no more than a peddler in the marketplace. I will make love my greatest weapon and none on who I call  can depend upon its force…my love will melt all hearts liken to the sun whose rays soften the coldest day.” Og Mandino