There are people who love loudly (what does loving loudly even mean to you?) and there are those who show love through their muted sacrifice. 

In my quest for finding out if there is a Japanese word for muted love, I came to find out that there are a few words on how to express it. 

• Mugon no Ai – This directly translates to
  “silent love” or “love without words”. This is a good general term for a love that isn’t expressed verbally. It emphasizes the lack of spoken words.

I believe this is where love that shows through muted sacrifice fits in. Some people are not big on expressing their feelings. My father is one. He is the type who doesn’t express his love but is big on showing it. My father was the epitome of showing love through muted sacrifice. He was always there for our mother in big and small things. You can find him in the kitchen, he did laundry, he went to the market, he cooked for us, he looked after our mother whenever she was sick and took care of our mother in many, many ways than one and most importantly, he took care of my mother’s heart until the day he passed.

Filipinos are known for leaving their families for a better job overseas. They support their families with living expenses, send families to school all the while living away from their families, not expecting anything in return. The situation might have lacked spoken words, but is big on sacrificial love. 

These are mugon no ai. A love that you can’t put words to. Muted in a way. Silent most times but big on sacrifice. 

• Okuyukashii Ai -This describes a
  subtle, understated, and refined kind of love. It suggests a deep affection that isn’t openly displayed. This would fit if you’re looking for something that captures a sense of reserved love.

What does a deep affection that isn’t openly displayed look like? Ones that are subtle, understated, and refined? 

Perhaps this is where praying for the people we love comes in? Preparing them dinners? Telling them to drive safely? Checking in to see if they made it back okay? Texting them just to ask how they’re holding up or what their day is looking like? Being aware of what makes them happy, or sad, or mad, or anxious, or upset, or cry and doing your best to do it or not do it, because that’s loving subtly. 

Love, regardless of how we say it or what kind of language we use….

Not everyone finds it. Not everyone appreciates it. Not everyone knows how to cultivate it and take care of it. Not everyone sees it. Not everyone hears it. 

Others abuse it. Some waste it. The rest, minimize it.

When love is taken for granted – most of the time, it’s towards the end of any love given, whether it’s muted or loud, we find the words and what we’re missing. The meaning. The importance.

But, what if it’s too late?

What’s your kind of love?

As for me, I am “Okuyukashii Ai.”

Until next time,