I can’t remember when was the last time I write or at least tried to write. I don’t think the problem was about not having anything to write. I just don’t want to. Period.
Does my writing and stories matter? I told myself that it didn’t. It’s a waste of time to be writing and telling your stories to the world that doesn’t even care, much less know you. It’s a big world out there and there are already many famous writers and bloggers who write the same thing as you. So why bother to read yours?
And I listened to this quiet voice. It came to a point that I no longer heard it – but I didn’t need to. I no longer wanted to write.
Friday morning, a co-worker asked me if my book is still available and if it’s still out for sale. I said yes and I didn’t said anything else, even though I knew she was waiting for me to say something more.
I don’t think I’ve ever done something in my name that I would consider to be a legacy. You know, something that people will remember me for when I am no longer around. Wealth, power and a name for myself. I don’t have all these. Aren’t these what the world considers a great legacy to leave behind? Things that people will associate you with the instant they hear your name?
Things that I never wanted to have. I am this someone who’s content and happy being nameless. I like everything simple and quiet. I wish I could tell you exactly why, but I can’t. Not because I don’t want to, I just can’t. I don’t have the right words.
If someone would ask me right now on what I think would be my biggest accomplishments, I’d probably say nothing. Would being content and happy in my own little world count? Would being at peace with myself and who I am be an accomplishment? Would the satisfaction of not having to prove myself to anyone else be an achievement?
You must be asking, don’t I want to live my purpose?
I’ve prayed for that for as long as I can remember. For me to find my purpose. And live it.
And every time I tried to be this person finding my way out into the big loud world, trying to make a name for myself, being someone other than my quiet self, wanting to be seen and heard…I lose myself.
Only to realize later that here I am.
I am where I need to be.
To be who I really am.
This is my purpose.
I believe my purpose is to live my life exactly how I envisioned it to be. As simple as it might be. To be who I am, right here, right now. Void of wealth, power and nameless but at peace with myself.
As for legacy. It’s there. In those tiny little corners of the places I’ve been and people I’ve been lucky to make a connection with. It’s those small talks not loud enough for the world to hear but hopefully worthy enough to make a momentous difference to that persons life.
I’ve realized that I don’t have to be famous and I don’t need to be wealthy and powerful to serve my purpose and to leave a lasting legacy.
It could be this writing.
It could be who I am.
It could be this life.
Until next time,,